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Unreasonable and destructiveEmotional quarrels

The opponent may try to divert you by escaping into destructive behaviour. In this case, your behaviour should be not to interrupt, but to listen and control your feelings. Even if the battle is won, the war can be lost.

A negotiator should be constructive in arguments and try to get information by asking open questions or even leading questions. One thing should be tackled at a time and the opponent should be made justify his case item by item.

It is important to be non-committal and to state only ideals at first. Later, the information about the negotiator’s position can be given, and later alternative proposals can be made. Sometimes it is necessary to challenge the opponent, so that he demonstrates his strengths.

Negotiation means movement. It may be that both parties move on one issue. It may be that each moves on different issue. The motive forces are twofold:

SanctionsThe penalty of not agreeing

IncentivesThe benefits of agreeing. 

In both cases, the parties seek to protect their self-interests. They will show willingness to move by sending signals.

To signal is not to show weakness. But if both parties wait for the other to signal, the result will be deadlock.

The opponent’s signals will show his willingness to move. So one should listen, recognise his signals and interpret them, looking for the qualified words which are evidence of willingness to move.

Another very important point of negotiations is proposing and bargaining. Proposals should be realistic in order not to cause argument and deadlock. The language of the proposal signals one’s firmness. Weak language such as “we hope…, we like…, we prefer…” should be avoided. Instead, a phrase “we propose…” is appropriate.

The final step in a negotiation is closing and agreeing. There are two aspects to it:

When to close

How to close

The first is the most difficult moment to recognise. There is a balance between:

Closing too earlyMore concessions from the opponent could have been

       squeezed

Closing too lateThe opponents squeezed excessive concessions.

The aim of closing is to get the opposition to stop bargaining and to make an agreement. The final thing to do is to write down the agreement and agree what is written down. It is necessary to do this before leaving the negotiating table.

4. Characteristics of an effective negotiator

What characteristics should one have to be an effective negotiator. The first and the most important characteristics, from the standpoint of many executives and managers of large corporations, is preparation and planning skills.

The other very important characteristics are:

Knowledge of subject matter being negotiated

Ability to think clearly and rapidly under pressure and uncertainty

Ability to express thoughts verbally

Listening skills

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